Tulsi Gabbard, the turnip-brained Gidget clone ironically serving as America’s Director of National Intelligence, has a problem. Her boss, Donald Trump, needs a legal justification for rounding up undocumented Venezuelan immigrants and sending them to an El Salvadoran gulag so that America can inch closer towards being the white nation he and the neo-Confederates in his administration want it to be.
One solution the Trump team hit on is to claim that many Venezuelans are members of the criminal gang Tren de Aragua, declare that the gang is “invading” America, and then invoke the Alien Enemies Act of 1798 to justify loading as many shackled, brown-skinned men as they can fit onto planes and flying them out of the country.
But you can’t just say a group is “invading” the country because lots of its members have migrated here through both legal and illegal means. If that were the case, what’s stopping you from declaring that the US has been invaded by British au pairs, who have taken all the jobs of looking after the snot-nosed brats spawned by rich people away from hard-working Americans?
But if you claim that TdA has created a national security emergency because it is secretly working with the Venezuelan government to destabilize America by adding to the burden of angry white people who hate having to press 1 for English, then you can designate the gang as a foreign terrorist organization, and voila! No due process, no court hearings, no legal rights. It’s just instant imprisonment in a foreign labor camp for the alleged invasion force.
The problem for Gabbard is that 17 of America’s 18 intelligence agencies, which she oversees, have concluded that TdA is not being directed by the Venezuelan government. That kills the entire Trump administration rationale for its actions.
The solution? Claim that all the intelligence agencies are liars who have been infiltrated by “deep state” agents determined to sabotage Trump’s presidency and undermine democracy. Then, unilaterally overrule the agencies’ conclusions so Trump won’t get mad at you.
Sounds foolproof! Or galactically stupid. Either way, it’s what Gabbard is going with:
Since this all came to light a week ago, the DNI’s office has apparently done the fastest mole hunt in the history of mole hunts. On Thursday, Gabbard announced she has referred the leakers, whom she called “deep state criminals,” to the Department of Justice for possible prosecution.
The most transparent administration ever, folks! Unless that transparency means the public hears something other than what the administration wants them to hear. Then suddenly it’s prosecutin’ time.
If this all sounds familiar, it’s because America faced such a situation with high-stakes consequences in very recent memory.
Cast your minds back to the early days of the War on Terror, when the Bush administration was desperate to prove that Iraq under Saddam Hussein had massive stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. Who can forget all the talk about a secret nuclear weapons program, or biological warfare labs and artillery shells full of nerve gas? Who can forget Condi Rice trying to scare the shit out of everyone in America with her “We don’t want the smoking gun to be in the shape of a mushroom cloud” drivel?
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This was all supposed to justify invading and occupying Iraq. The only problem was that America’s intelligence apparatus kept reporting that it was all bullshit. There were no biolabs. There was no yellowcake uranium, no briefcase nukes that could be smuggled into midtown Manhattan like some sort of silly George Clooney movie.
This was no problem for the likes of Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Cheney ordered the CIA to “stovepipe” raw intelligence up to his office. That way, he could present unvetted information to the president and the public as being somehow legit.
Meanwhile, Rumsfeld set up in the Pentagon the Office of Special Plans, headed by a man named Douglas Feith whom one of the military’s top generals called “the dumbest fucking guy on the planet.” The OSP was tasked with a similar job as the CIA, namely, stovepiping raw intelligence up the chain of command to make the case for invading Iraq.
We’re sure we do not need to remind any of our faithful readers how all this worked out for the world.
That was 2002 and 2003. In 2025, the government isn’t even bothering to try and get raw intelligence out ahead of the vetted stuff. Now it’s just flat out repeating conspiratorial horse-hockey about Deep State actors and the public enemy that is the left-wing media and treasonous efforts to undermine our God-King Donald Trump.
The Post reports that Democrats in Congress have been trying to get Gabbard to fess up, but she keeps lying right to their faces:
Castro asked Gabbard at an Intelligence Committee hearing in late March whether U.S. spy agencies assessed that the Maduro government is directing “any hostile actions against the United States.”
“There are varied assessments that came from different intelligence community elements,” Gabbard replied. She did not disclose that almost all U.S. intelligence agencies, with the exception of the FBI, did not see evidence of such links.
Meanwhile, a Venezuela expert at a think tank called the idea that Venezuela’s government is sending Tda to “infiltrate” the United States “ludicrous.”
Obviously, that conclusion will not stop the Trump administration from its constant fearmongering to justify its unconstitutional ethnic cleansing, because otherwise how can Stephen Miller be expected to get erections?
We’re trying to imagine how the experts in the nation’s intelligence community must feel to have their work product ignored and even publicly diminished by the Russian asset that oversees your agencies. We’re guessing it sucks.
But this is what you get when you prioritize truth and America’s national interests over loyalty to Donald Trump. Luckily Tulsi Gabbard is there to make sure all the spies get with the program, and send them to prison when they don’t.
[WaPo / WaPo]
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